Saying Goodbye and Grieving The Loss of Your Beloved Pet

Hi everyone,

Today I want to talk about my dog and best friend, Zsa-Zsa. On 12 February 2022, I had to say goodbye to one of the closest beings to my heart. I want to share my goodbye to her and how my grieving process went.
I'm sharing this difficult experience with you, in hopes, it'll help you and bring you comfort for when that inevitable day comes when you have to say goodbye to your precious furry friend. I hope this post brings you comfort and shows you, that you're not alone with all the emotions you're going through.

 

leading up to the decision

At the start of February, we discussed the possibility of putting her to sleep because we planned to go to the Western Cape for a week. We always put our dogs in the kennels because they take good care of them and they always return home happier than ever.
Many things bothered us and we were concerned if being away from us for a week was the best option for her, especially with her age and everything she's gone through.
My dogs haven't been to the kennels for three years and in those three years so much has happened with Zsa-Zsa.
In 2020 she got her first seizure. It was a bad experience, mostly because we didn't know what was going on and had no idea what to do. After talking with a vet, we had more information about her seizures and how to keep her calm while she is having one. These seizures didn't hurt her but it confused her and you could see it. As time went on she had two more seizures. Then one early Sunday morning she had her fourth one.
I wasn't awake during the time this one happened but I woke up around the end of it. My mom was the one who was awake during this whole seizure and she said it was her worst one. It lasted for a long time and it took her a while to calm down.
After her fourth and final seizure, she just got older and older. We didn't want her to have another seizure that would potentially stop her heart.
Many other factors led to the decision of putting her to sleep, like, she was panting softly the whole time even when the weather wasn't warm and, now and then she would leak a small puddle or drops of urine.
She also couldn't handle thunder and lightning and shake uncontrollably whenever it would rumble outside and we feared that there might be thunder in the week we're gone. She was very fond of us and was always around us for comfort whenever there was a thunderstorm and the weather for that week showed this type of weather. We just couldn't put her through it so we decided to let her sleep peacefully. 

 

12 february: saying goodbye

When we took my other dog to get his vaccines we spoke to the vet and she told us we can bring Zsa-Zsa on that same day around noon.
A few hours passed and that morning I decided to say goodbye.
I was in my bedroom, sitting on the floor and she sat next to me. I told her how grateful I was for her and for all the memories we made. I told her I love her so much and that we are putting her to sleep so she won't have any pain or worries ever again.
I cried when I did this and she was just staring at me, like, "what's going on?" haha. She always comforted me when I was feeling down or sad.
I've learned that people have different ways of saying goodbye. This way was my goodbye and my mom kissed her on the head after she was asleep. That was her way of saying goodbye.

I wanted to see her after she was asleep and when I saw her it didn't hit me. I was actually in shock. But when we left the vet, tears started streaming down my cheeks and they wouldn't stop.
Now that it's almost 2 months, I'm glad I saw her when she was asleep. It gave me a lot of peace to see that she has no pain anymore, that she's safe in heaven.
When my mom and I saw her, one of the workers by the vet took my arm, and without saying anything, he put her collar and leash in my hand. I'll never forget what he did for as long as I live because I really appreciated it. 

my grieving process

I believe grieving never really stops. You just learn to live with it. But it does get better. Those first few days were the worst. I cried so much and longed to see her and hug her again. There was a point where I was nauseous and it felt like something was pressing on my stomach and chest as hard as possible. 

Sunday night I was in a type of denial, like, I really wanted her with me and wished we could just pick her up at the vet the next day and that she would come home. And by Monday, I already felt better, lighter.
The loss gets lighter, and every day it gets a little better. I thought it would take me months before I'll feel normal again but a week or two later I adapted to the routine we now have with just one dog and I was already feeling much better.
For others, it may take months, one week, or even a year. What's important is that you take time to grieve the loss, no matter how long it takes.
And let all of your emotions out. Cry, shout, sleep, do what you need to, to grieve because everyone's process differs.
 
I miss her every day, especially when there's a certain spot she used to sleep or a certain quirk she would have when we do or say something or when I need comfort. Sometimes a few tears run down my cheeks when I think of her and other times I just laugh at how crazy she was.
I have wonderful memories of her and I'm so grateful for the time we had together. She was an amazing, sometimes crazy, dog and I love her so incredibly much.

"Now is your time of grief, but I will see you again and you will rejoice..."  

John 16:22